Transformation and Teshuva
By Cantor Hasha Musha
Perman
Preparation for the Days of Awe begins seven weeks before Rosh Hashana,
at Tisha B’Av. Recently, I learned to
see Tisha B’Av, the saddest day in the Jewish calendar, through a new lens.
On Tisha B’Av we mourn catastrophes in Jewish history--the destruction of
the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem, to name only two of the tragic events
occurring on that day. The walls of the
Temples crumbled to dust on Tisha B’Av. Why
is this day our starting point for חשבון הנפש Kheshon Hanefesh, a
Spiritual Accounting, in preparation for the Days of Awe?
First, we examine our
external spiritual walls. Under careful scrutiny,
will they crumble like the walls of the ancient Temples? Reb Shlomo Carlebach sang “Return again. Return again.
Return to the land of your dreams.
Return to who you are. Return to
what you are. Return to where you are,
born and reborn again.” We look within, at the foundation of our lives. Teshuva begins.
And what if the Temple had not been
destroyed? Would the High Priest now rule
all of Jewish religious life (like the Pope rules all of the Catholics)? Imagine daily sacrifices. Prayer would be superfluous. Women would have no role in the sacred Temple
rite.
The destruction of the Second Temple transformed
Jewish life. Out of its ashes rose the Mishna and the Talmud, Rabbinic thought,
and universal Jewish prayer. Just as we
can look at Tisha B’Av through a new lens, so can we revisit our past. Past events remain the same, but
understanding these events with compassion and loving kindness can transform
our present and our future.
I have prepared Daily Journal Questions
for the month of Elul until Erev Rosh Hashana, beginning today. How can we transform our lives and turn towards
achieving our true mission in life, and affirm the soul of our being? The Hebrew root/שורש/shoresh of shana is לשנות/to
change. I thought Hashana meant ‘the
year’. We greet each other at Rosh
Hashana, saying, שנה טובה, Happy (Good) New Year! Today this greeting has new meaning for me:
טובה שנה/ Shana Tova
CHANGE FOR GOOD!
I hope each of us can inscribe ourselves in a new
BOOK OF LIFE, written by our experience, hope, and truth. Following are the Guided Journal Details
based on Kerry M. Olitzky and
Rachel T. Sabath’s book, Preparing Your Heart for the High Holy Days. Each
day includes a quote, an interpretation, a question, and a summary insight.
I encourage you to journal for five minutes each
day.
A GUIDED JOURNAL
10 ELUL/AUGUST 25, 2015
Adonai is the foundation of my life. Whom shall I dread? (Ps. 27:1b)
What part
of who you are, frightens you (fills you with dread)?
Spiritual growth is possible when we let go of our past in order to reclaim
it.
11 ELUL/AUGUST 26, 2015
The Creator has blown into my nostrils a living soul, wisdom of heart
and the gift of reason that I might recognize and fear God.
Discern between what you have
become and what you are striving to become.
Age brings wisdom.
By doing T’shuva, we can look in three directions at once: to self, to
others, and to God.
12 ELUL/AUGUST 27, 2015
When evil-doers come upon me to devour me, even my adversaries and foes
stumble and fall. (Ps. 27:2) Who
supports your change? Who stands in your
way?
The Baal She Tov said, “Sinner are like mirrors.” When we see faults in
them we should realize that they only reflect the evil in ourselves.”
13 ELUL/AUGUST 28, 2015
Listen Adonai when I cry aloud. Have mercy on me; answer me.
(Ps. 27:7)
When we pray, we want God to
respond. Ask God for what you want.
Prayer is part of an ongoing dialogue with the Divine.
14 ELUL/AUGUST 29, 2015
There is not a righteous person on earth who does (only) good and does
not sin” (Eccles. 7:20)
Self-loathing is not a hurdle, but
a motivating force. Name a negative
energy that’s holding you back.
By doing t’shuva, you participate in the act of re-creat-ion.
15 ELUL/AUGUST 30, 2015
If an army should camp against me, my heart will not fear. Though war should wage up against me even then
will I be confident. (Ps. 27:3)
“Rabbi Eugene Borowitz says that
psalms give us the vehicle to say things that we thought we were incapable of
saying or simply are unable to say.”
What does the psalm say to you?
Miracles can be found only when we are ready to look for them.
16 ELUL/AUGUST 31, 2015
How does one acknowledge sin?
One says: I implore You
God…Behold, I
regret (what I did) and am embarrassed by my deeds. I promise never to repeat this act
again. (Moses Maimonides, Laws of
Repentance 1:1)
What past actions do you
regret? What embarrassed you? Do you deserve a a second chance?
Embarrassment and regret pave the road to change.
17 ELUL/SEPTEMBER 1, 2015
One thing I ask of Adonai, only this
do I seek:
To live in the house of Adonai all
the days of my life,
To gaze upon Adonai’s beauty, to
frequent God’s temple. (Ps. 27:4)
There is so much noise in the
world. When do you hear the still small
voice within you?
The voice from Sinai is heard in silence.
18 ELUL/SEPTEMBER 2, 2015
For You conceal me in Your pavilion on the day of evil. You hide me in the covert of Your tent. You lift me up on a rock. (Ps. 27:5)
Rabbi Lawrence Kushner teaches that
past events are not fixed; rather, he says that they—and our relationship to
them—can change. Only the unknown future
is static. Rewrite a troubling past
event with a new script.
The present contains the potential to change the past.
19 ELUL/SEPTEMBER 3, 2015
Hide not your face from me. Do
not put your servant off in anger. You
are my help. Forsake me not, nor abandon
me. O God, (You are) the One who
delivers me. (Ps. 27:9)
Even if you have given up seeking
God, God still seeks you. Do you hide
from yourself? How?
When we change the direction of our life, we will find that God has
been there waiting for us.
20 ELUL/SEPTEMBER 4, 2015
And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies all around me and I
will offer sacrifices in Your tabernacle with the sound of trumpets. I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to
Adonai. (Ps. 27:6)
Menakhem Mendl of Kotzk said in
response to the question: Where is
God? The Kotzker replied, “Wherever we
let God in.”
How can I realign the course of my
life? Help me lift my head and offer my
inner wisdom to hear your direction.
Spiritual moments contain eternity.
21 ELUL/SEPTEMBER 5, 2015
At present…there is no altar of atonement, there remains nothing else
aside from t’shuva. (Moses Maimonides, Laws of Repentance 1:3)
In place of the altar at the Holy
Temple in Jerusalem, stands our being.
What
are you holding within? What can you offer up and release?
When we offer up sacrifices, we let go of our inner selves.
22 ELUL/SEPTEMBER 6, 2015
There are sins that can be atoned for immediately and other sins which
can only be atoned for over the course of time. (Moses Maimonides, Laws of
Repentance 1:4)
How can I move forward and improve
my ways?
It takes a lifetime to complete the process of t’shuva.
23 ELUL/STEPTEMBER 7, 2015
(Your instruction,) seek my face, my heart repeats. Your face, O God, do I seek. (Ps. 27:8)
The Medieval poet Judah Halevi
said, “When I go forth looking for You, I find You seeking me.” When do you
find/experience your true self?
The gates of repentance are always open.
24 ELUL/SEPEMBER 8, 2015
Among the ways to repent for the one turning is…to change his/her name,
as if to say, I am a different person and not the same one who sinned. (Moses Maimonides, Laws of Repentance 2:4)
The achievement of t’shuva involves
self-acceptance along with radical change of self. Jacob, changed his name to
Israel after wrestling with angels. What
do you wrestle with? What do you want to change?
To get to the light, we have to find our way through the darkness.
25 ELUL/SEPTEMBER 9, 2015
For though my father and my mother have forsaken me, Adonai will lift
me up. (Ps. 27:10)
The month of Elul is all about
growing up and letting go of childhood—Describe an event from your childhood in
a new perspective.
As we become adults, we encounter our parents with new understanding.
26 ELUL/SEPTEMBER 10, 2015
There are many levels of repentance through which one draws near to the
Holy Blessed One. And although there is
forgiveness in relation to each kind of repentance, the soul does not become
completely purified…unless one purifies one’s heart and properly conditions
one’s spirit. (Rabbi Jonah of Gerona, Gates of Repentance, The First Gate)
The soul and the spirit, two
aspects of our personality, must be brought to the surface so that our teshuva
will continue to evolve. Describe the
loneliness of this kind of deep self-exploration.
Repentance is an act of belief in the future.
27 ELUL/SEPTEMBER 11, 2015
Hide not your face from me. Do
not put your servant off in anger. You
are my help. Forsake me not, nor abandon
me. O God, (You are) the One who
delivers me. (Ps. 27:9)
Even if you have given up seeking
God, God still seeks you. What do you
hide from yourself? What do you hide
from others?
When we change the direction of our life, we will find that God has
been there waiting for us.
28 ELUL/SEPTEMBER 12, 2015
If you have committed many misdeeds, then do many mitzvoth to match
them.
(Leviticus Rabbah 21:1)
Transforming misdeeds into mitzvoth
is one of the most amazing effects of teshuva.
Pick one broken thing in the world and fix it.
Teshuva תשובה, t’filla תפילה, and tzedaka צדקה can change our world.
29 ELUL/SEPTEMBER 13, 2015
Look to Adonai (for hope) be strong and of good courage. Look to Adonai
(for faith). (Ps. 27:14)
The shofar of Elul warns us: redirect your energies and establish new
priorities for living, or remain lost.
Take your compass in hand. What
is one new direction for you want for the new year?
At the end of the year, we find a
new beginning.
1 TISHREI/SEPTEMBER 14, 2015
ROSH HASHANA טובה שנה Shana tova!
CHANGE FOR GOOD!
May you inscribe yourself in your Book
of Life and
may you be open to divine wisdom within
and around you..
Cantor Hasha Musha Perman
The newly discovered (September 2015) table V of the Epic of Gilgamesh. 
